Cristen Conger

19 Attractions on the Map of a Woman's Heart

Courtesy: Fouzi
Courtesy: Fouzi

What does a woman's heart look like?

No, not this:

Over at Brainpickings, curator Maria Popova showcases the 19th-century Map of the Open Country of a Woman's Heart, which is largely divided into the five major regions:

Land of Love of Dress Land of Love of Admiration Land of Coquetry Land of the Love of Display Land of Selfishness.

Tucked away in the Region of Sentimentality, the River of Novel Reading flows, but otherwise, the topographical features if the Victorian woman's heart are strictly unintellectual.

Designed by one D.W. Kellogg in the 1830s or 1840s, the map is at once delightfully terrible and terribly delightful in its gender stereotyping. Behold:

Courtesy: Maria Popova/Brainpickings

19 Notable Attractions along the Map of the Open Country of a Woman's Heart:

  1. Pyramids of Fashion
  2. Satin Plains
  3. Jewelry Inlet
  4. Sea of Wealth
  5. Country of Eligibleness
  6. River Drain the Purse
  7. Lake of Self Concern
  8. Town of Lady's Privilege
  9. City and District of Love
  10. Region of Platonic Affection
  11. River of Pensive Musings
  12. Dandy's Rest
  13. Country of Solid Worth
  14. Jilting Corner
  15. River of Lasciviousness
  16. High Ground of Matrimonial Speculations
  17. Bay of Establishment
  18. Promontory of Golden Fetters
  19. Bonnet Ridge

A contemporary update of the map would could yield hilarious results as well. Clearly, the 19th-century Land of Oblivion on the heart's western border, the 21st-century Friend Zone by another name, and Land of Selfishness requires just a minor tweak to become the Land of Selfie-ness. Oh, and the Island of Lost Bobby Pins should definitely exist, along with the Hairlessness Hamlet (nicknamed Brazil?) and Nail Art Knoll. The River of Novel Reading stays put though.