Last night, I started my Cosmopolitan exercise regimen, included in the "You, Even Better" section of the magazine. Because see, the "fun fearless female" in Cosmo's tagline is never content to simply be herself. Instead she must, she must, she must increase her bust this July with a six-minute routine guaranteed to be "better than a push-up bra."
I was surprised to see that the magazine devoted only one page to exercise since fitness is a staple among lady mags. Moreover, offering a routine solely devoted to perking up one's chest assumes that young readers (core demo 18-34) are somehow in need of a lift. Considering that the New York Times just published a widely circulated article about how women need more tailored exercise guidelines, these magazines could be a useful outlet in this regard. But instead of offering tips on how to strengthen core muscles to promote healthy aging, Cosmo cries out for more cleavage already!
The routine consists of four exercises meant to strengthen chest muscles, such as the Push-Up with a Twist that I'm guessing is what left me sore today. Think of a modified push-up, only when you push up, you also twist and raise one arm into the air and hold for 3 seconds. For someone who's never completed an unassisted pull-up, upper body has never been my strong suit. So shlepping my briefcase around on my train commute to work this morning was more uncomfortable than usual. I guess that means it's working right? But judging by the fact that's my underarms that are aching, I'm wondering if "top fitness guru" (there are lots of "gurus" who contribute Cosmo, btw) Tracy Anderson might've missed the mark on this one. Time - and more soreness - will tell.