STD Testing? There's an app for that.

Cristen Conger

STD diagnoses on the go could prove awkward in public. (© 2009 Jupiterimages Corporation)

Smartphone apps are getting really personal these days. As in, down there personal. First came the PMS Buddy to help dudes track their girlfriends' periods, and just this week, Betty Crocker released a menstrual calendar app that will send guys coupons for brownies to temper girlfriends' PMS symptoms (because everyone knows that chocolate is better than Klonopin for tranquilizing hormone-crazed women). But the eSTI2 project from the University of the London may very well take the cake.

CNN reports that a researcher at the University of London has received a $6.5 million grant to develop computer chips that can diagnose STDs via smartphones. Users would put blood, urine or saliva on the chip, and the accompanying smartphone app would process the bodily fluid and determine a positive or negative STD diagnosis. Unlike what some blogs are saying, STD app users wouldn't urinate or spit directly on their phones. That's just gross.

Although the news is spreading like wildfire across the Internet, it's going to be another 7 to 10 years before people can start smartphone STD screenings for HIV, syphilis and other unpleasant diseases. In the meantime, I'd recommend signing up for that PMS app for the brownie coupons to treat yourself after a trip to the clinic.

Follow Cristen & Molly from Stuff Mom Never Told You on Twitter and Facebook.